“Falling” in London

Evening at the Renaissance Hotel in London began by relaxing and talking about the amazing day in this city.  Though the day went by quickly, feeling God’s presence at Westminster Abbey set the tone for the evening.

Had I known by that very evening I’d be laying upon a hotel bathroom floor with my right arm flayed in an unnatural (and very painful) position I might have chosen a different path, but foreknowledge is not mine to embrace! Accidents are just that, “accidents.” In a split second as I chose to use the lobby bathroom prior to returning to the hotel room, my foot slipped on the second narrow tread of a stairway sending my body flying down through the air and smack onto my right wrist. I must have screamed as I fell because a hotel employee flew out of the bathroom stall to see what transpired. “Find Brian” I cried out to her while looking over at this “arm” that couldn’t move. She ran up the stairs and out the door to get help. The pain was bad.

I couldn’t move. I used my left arm to hold onto my right shoulder trying to cradle it from more pain.  It appeared I broke my right arm in two places after tumbling down this beautiful black granite stairway, landing on my wrist or hand to break my fall. Luckily, my head was spared any damage but my right elbow suffered immensely.  All I could do was lay very still.  Any movement caused horrendous shooting pain.

My humanity wondered why God allowed this accident to happen but I knew life is filled with my own choices.  The concept, “man’s free will” applied here.  I chose to use this bathroom; my foot slipped; the hotel builders chose to construct the stairway in this particular way, with these particular stones.  God saw my tumultuous fall before it happened, but he certainly played no hand in it.

I had well over an hour to think while laying immobilized on the bathroom floor awaiting the ambulance.  Grateful for the protection of my head during this fall, all I could do was close my eyes and focus on what I needed to learn in all of this.  I trusted God; and prayed for healing on whatever part of my body needed repairs.   Over the years I’ve learned I disconnect easily from painful situations or compartmentalize physical or emotional pain in order to tolerate it.  I’m very good at disconnecting from or compartmentalizing my emotional or physical pain so it can be tolerated.  Even with plenty of practice this pain was terrible.  It required a lot of focus on my part just to endure it.

Brian knelt by my side, prayed for me, and took command of this situation.  Ice and water were delivered by the hotel staff.  Brian brought down from our room pain meds and anti-inflamatories we’d packed for emergencies.  This was an emergency.  Despite the hotel’s repeated calls, the ambulance couldn’t be hurried.  They were an hour out.

Grateful isn’t a strong enough word when they finally arrived.   The two men were kind and tried to be gentle.  Cutting away my new dress the medics could only tie my arm to my body to stabilize it, administer an IV with morphine, and provided nitrous oxide to ease the pain.  After a full hour of prepping me for the ambulance ride,  we drove to a hospital.

Chaos reigned in this emergency room.  Anyone in pain, sick or needing some type of help lined the hallways and filled the rooms to overflowing.  It took Brian circumventing three levels of nurses and staff to finally get to a doctor to oversee my care and provide pain meds.  Was my arm broken or dislocated in some manner?  Brian carefully held my arm in positions while the technicians took clear x-rays to determine this answer.  It was dislocated.   After receiving enough medication to “put me out” the arm was back in place.

Not knowing what to do with me next, the hospital staff wheeled me onto the hospital floor apparently considered “post ER” (can’t be released but unsure what to do next.)  It was the middle of the night; I was exhausted; and I just wanted to lose my eyes and rest.  The floor was dark with few nurses or activity at this time of night.

A woman in her early eighties, lay in a bed across from me moaning. Instead of using a buzzer to call her nurse, she cried out loudly, “hello…hello…anybody here? Hello…where is everyone? I’m all alone. They’ve all left me.”  A few moments later she continued:  “I don’t want to be alone. Hello, somebody please help me!  It’s dark in here.  I can’t see anything.  Where’s me nurse?  Nurse, nurse? Somebody?”

After what seemed like a long time to both her and I, the nurse finally appeared.  She explained that the lights are off because it’s sleeping time.  Pulling back a curtain separating our two areas the Scottish nurse pointed in my direction.  “See, you’re not alone.  You’ve got other people in here.”  Turning on a bed light over the old woman’s head, the nurse convinced her to settle down for the remainder of the night. “Oh” the woman said simply as she stared in my direction.

As I looked back at this woman–wide awake–I knew there’d be no rest tonight.  She now had people to keep her company!  She seemed so alone.   Apparently she fell (again) in her home, so the ambulance returned her back to the hospital.  Bit by bit we heard:  “I don’t like the other doctor; He was mean to me; He just threw me out (of the hospital) before I was ready;  I want a woman doctor; my late husband fought in WWII; and, my daughter is important and lives in another city.”  She was alone.

British Airways phone lines opened at 6 am. Between conversing with this woman and watching the clock to call an agent, we tried to rest a little.  Clearly, we wouldn’t be flying from London to Istanbul at 6:30 am!  Brian discussed my accident with an agent who kindly suspended the next leg of our journey.  It was still unknown whether we’d be continuing or canceling.  The question—surgery and returning home, or immobilization and traveling with a cast—might take several days to answer.

Forced to be still, our Heavenly Father brought to mind various bible verses.  My favorite, “Be still and know that I am God” reminded me to allow God to be in control.  I just needed to be still.  Over and over during the next twenty four hours I prayed scripture back to Our Creator:   “I am fearfully and wonderfully made”, “you knit together me in my mother’s womb.”  Lord, I cried out, I need you to reknit me again.  You formed my bones once, I need you to reform them again.  I need your hands to hold me close.  My arm is broken (Brian saw the X-rays revealing the crack in the bones).  Only you, Lord can see those areas that need repair and make them whole again.  

With God all things are possible.  The outcome was in His hands.   Praying for His guidance on this amazing journey; God changed our itinerary.   The journey to “Find God Everywhere” took a slight detour from Debra’s Planned Itinerary to one of God’s Intended Journeys.  Trusting in God’s timing, I let go of my need to control.   He allowed this injury to my right elbow for a purpose I had yet to learn.